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  CHAPTER 16

  I feel nothing but terror. Loudin is returning to New Hope? What is he planning? I jerk forward, hoping I can free myself of the straps. But they are solid, unmoving. I press the button on my right, but nothing happens. I can only strap myself in. I cannot release the straps. Loudin has to do that at the control center. I maneuver myself to see if I can free one of my arms. If I can do that, perhaps I can slide through the center. Loudin is old and weak. If I can get to him, maybe I can knock him out, like I did to the Assistant in the Scientists’ quarters. Once he is unconscious, I can release Alex and we can reroute the plane.

  As much as I long to see New Hope—to see Berk and Rhen, to tell Carey Kristie is all right, that we have a plan to see she and all the others are released—I cannot allow Loudin to come into that village again. He is too dangerous.

  But I cannot pull even one arm out. The straps, though thin, are strong. And they seem to anticipate my movements. They tighten on my chest, making escape impossible.

  “Don’t worry.” Loudin laughs. “The aircraft will land safely. The Engineers have developed the program to run on its own. I am just here to watch. And if something were to happen, Engineers at the State are ready to manually land it. We have lots of eyes on this aircraft. No need to panic.”

  He knows I am not panicking. He knows I am trying to escape. He probably also knows we were planning to overtake him. But that will be pointless. Why did I not consider there would be other eyes on this machine? I always underestimate this man, this State. Even if Alex and I were to leave Loudin in South America, the Engineers would not allow us to leave in the aircraft. They would know Loudin was not in it. They would shut it down.

  I glance at Alex. His gaze is locked on me. He knows too. Our plans are useless. Our hope futile.

  God! Where are you? I cannot defeat Loudin on my own, yet I feel like I have been abandoned by the only one who can defeat him.

  I close my eyes and think. I will not give up. I will not allow Loudin to emerge victorious. I think of King Jason, of the moment when Alex and I realized the only way to stop that man was to kill him. This is where we are again. And though I do not feel the love toward Loudin that Alex felt toward his father, I do not think I can take a life. But what if there is no choice? If the only way to ensure the safety of New Hope and Athens—of the world—is to remove Loudin from it?

  If he were dead, we could stay in New Hope.

  But what about Kristie? The generations still trapped in the State? We can’t leave them there. But if we returned, would the remaining Scientists try to annihilate us?

  I open my eyes. I have no solution. No idea what to do. Unlike Loudin, who has planned everything, ensured that his plans succeed. It is not right that he should be allowed to accomplish his goals. I wish John were here. The Designer would listen to him. Or, at the very least, John would know what to do in the face of the Designer’s silence.

  I feel so very alone.

  “We are here.” Loudin stands and moves toward us. “You didn’t even feel it, did you? Not like airplanes of old. Those landings were rough, and your ears would ache from the change in pressure. All that has been corrected, thanks to our Scientists. I do hope, Thalli, that you come to see how beneficial our advancements have been.”

  I say nothing. I do not even look at him. He touches something above my head and the straps release. I lunge toward him, but he holds out a device. I don’t need him to tell me what it is. My body responds before my mind does. I lean back. It is a weapon that dispenses electricity. All he has to do is turn it on and I will feel its effects, as will Alex.

  “Of course, I do not wish to use this.” Loudin releases Alex from his restraints. “But I cannot take any chances.”

  “Of course.” I look at Loudin now, not hiding my anger. He does not fool me. I know exactly who he is. The fact that who he is, is part of who I am makes me ill. But Kristie is also part of who I am. And the Designer, though he seems so far away, is ultimately the one who made me. He did not create me to cower to this man.

  The door opens and the first face I see is Berk’s. Every other emotion disintegrates. Only love remains. Berk is there, waiting for me, smiling at me. I run down the ramp, into his arms. He lifts me off the ground, spins me in circles. I lean into his shoulder inhaling his scent. He lowers me and places his hands on my face, his eyes searching mine.

  I am home.

  CHAPTER 17

  Loudin clears his throat, and I step away from Berk. Behind him, Alex is staring at me. I cannot determine if he is angry or hurt. Or both.

  “Why are you here?” Berk pulls me to his side, his arm around my waist. Alex turns away and Berk tightens his grip on me.

  Loudin places the weapon in his pocket and folds his arms. “As you can see, Thalli has missed you. I thought I could remedy that by stopping here and inviting you to come with us.”

  “No.” I step away from Berk, but he refuses to release his hold. “You didn’t say anything about bringing Berk.”

  “It was a surprise.” Loudin shrugs. “I thought you would be grateful.”

  “Grateful?”

  “Unless, of course, you did not wish your time with young Alex to be interrupted.” Loudin motions toward the aircraft where Alex stands, his face flushed. “Women are fickle, Berk. When one man is gone, they find another to take his place.”

  “That’s not what happened.” I turn to Berk, his eyes full of questions.

  Loudin steps forward. “She was engaged to him, after all.”

  “Because his father tricked me—” I stop talking. I am reacting exactly the way Loudin wants me to react. I cannot do that, cannot make this easy for him. I release a long breath and pull away from Berk. “You’re right. I am fickle. But they are both wonderful young men.”

  All three sets of eyes stare at me. Alex knows what I am doing—playing along with Loudin instead of reacting to him. I do not know if Berk sees what I am doing. He suspected I had feelings for Alex. When I left New Hope, I still was unsure of what those feelings were. Even now, though I love Berk, I feel a pull toward Alex. But I cannot sift through any of that right now.

  “They are.” Loudin’s lips curve into a smile. “Exactly my thoughts. And I, too, have missed Berk. He was one of my most promising young Scientists.”

  Berk stiffens beside me.

  “Which is why I am inviting him to join us. And why he will return to the State with us and resume his training.”

  As much as I long never to be separated from Berk again, I don’t want him to come with us. I don’t want Loudin to be able to use him against me the way I was used against Kristie. He needs to stay here where he is safe.

  “I would be honored to join you, sir.” Berk leans into me, his shoulder touching mine. His touch warms me in ways that make it difficult to think clearly, rationally. I step away.

  “No.” I do not look at him. I cannot. “I am sure Berk is needed here more than he is needed in the State.”

  “And I am sure that is not your decision to make.” Loudin narrows his eyes. “You will come with us, Berk. You have one hour to gather your belongings. Thalli and Alex, you have the same amount of time to visit whomever you choose.”

  For the first time, I look to the crowd that has gathered. I was so intent on Berk I did not even see them. I see Rhen and Dallas and Carey. I recognize a handful of people from Athens mixed in among the New Hope residents. I want to know everything that has happened since I have been gone. I want them to know everything that has happened in the State. One hour is not enough time.

  “May we not spend the night here?” I look to Loudin. “I can assure you, the sleeping platforms in the pods here are far more comfortable than those in the aircraft.”

  Loudin walks to me, bends his mouth to my ear, and whispers, “Both you and Alex will be monitored wherever you go. Everything you see, I will see; everything you hear, I will hear. You will not now nor will you ever keep a secret from me. Do not even think about it.
I am not like Alex’s father. I will not be overthrown. I will not be tricked. Do you understand?”

  A knot forms in my stomach, and I nod once. Loudin pulls away.

  “You have one hour.” Loudin returns to the aircraft where, apparently, he has the ability to view Alex and me.

  Berk once placed a microscopic camera on Loudin’s lapel. I look down at my shirt. Do I have a camera on me? Or is there something inside me, placed there during one of my surgeries? How much does Loudin know? How much has he really heard? I have no doubt he can lie as easily as he can speak the truth. But he cannot possibly observe everything all the time. It is entirely possible he has not heard Alex and me discuss our plans. But it is also entirely possible that he has. And we have no way of knowing what he knows.

  “Thalli, where is Kristie? Is she all right?” Carey interrupts my thoughts. His face is lined with worry.

  “The last time I saw her she was all right. Dr. Loudin told me she was resting in preparation for another project.”

  “What other project?” Carey runs a hand through his thinning red hair. “What did he make her do?”

  “He requested she repair the oxygen system in the State.” I try to keep my voice level, to somehow communicate that I cannot speak freely. “She was able to complete that repair. I am not sure what her next assignment will be.”

  “Has he hurt her?”

  “No.” I cannot tell him Loudin hurt me to make Kristie do what he asked. I cannot tell him that Kristie is my mother, though I suspect he knows. Before we left for the State from New Hope the first time, Loudin spent half an hour alone with Carey and Kristie. They came out with disbelief on their faces, and then Kristie agreed to come aboard the aircraft without a fight. I did not understand it then, but now I see—if Loudin revealed the truth of who I am, Kristie would do whatever he asked. “She is all right. And Loudin says that once we complete the work he has for us, he will allow us to return to New Hope.”

  “You can’t believe him, Thalli. We’ll find another way to rescue Kristie. You can’t get back with him. We’ll stop him.”

  “No.”

  “How many does he have with him?” Carey looks at the aircraft, then out toward the crowd.

  Loudin’s weapon is agonizing. He will use it on anyone who comes near him. “We cannot stop him.”

  “We are uniting with Athens now. We have—”

  I put a hand up to stop him. Loudin doesn’t need to know any more about Athens than he already does. “I do not have much time. Let me just enjoy being here.”

  I can tell Carey is confused, but he nods and I walk past him, wishing the last few weeks never happened.

  CHAPTER 18

  Thalli!” Rhen hugs me. She hugs me. That has never happened. Rhen was always so normal, never displaying emotions. New Hope has changed her. She pulls away, and I see a bright smile on her beautiful face. “I have missed you.”

  “I missed you too.” I smile back at Rhen. “You are so . . .”

  “Perfect?” Dallas, Kristie and Carey’s grandson, wraps a muscular arm around Rhen’s shoulders. She looks up into his face and seems to glow from within. I close my eyes and open them again. Is this really Rhen?

  “Dallas.” Rhen shakes her head. “Perfection, as you know, is impossible.”

  There’s the Rhen I know. “So you two . . . ?”

  Dallas winks at me. “Rhen is crazy in love with me.”

  “What?”

  “Dallas.” Rhen pulls away, but her cheeks turn pink. “Dallas and I have developed a friendship. Not unlike what you have with Berk.”

  “Really?” Even Rhen’s manner of speaking has changed. Some of her words are accented the same as the others in New Hope. She has changed so much in the weeks I have been away. I want to know everything, but I don’t have time.

  I watch Dallas watching Rhen. Dallas—my mother’s grandson. I do not know what, exactly, that makes him, but he is a relative. We share the same blood. I want to ask him a million questions. I want to go to his house, speak to his parents: my brother. His wife. The thought makes me hear a dozen violins, playing in harmony. But I stop myself. I bite my lip. Loudin is watching. I do not want to share that moment with him.

  “But we want to know about you.” Rhen places her hand on my shoulder. “Are you all right? What is happening in the State? Have you returned to stay?”

  I sigh, shaking the thoughts from my mind, tuning out the violins. God, get us back here without Loudin so I can know this family. There is still silence when I pray, but I do it anyway. “I cannot say everything that is going on. But I am all right, and I do hope to return.”

  Rhen frowns. “I have come to realize that Dr. Loudin is much more dangerous than we ever imagined.”

  If she only knew how well I know that. But, of course, with Loudin listening to our conversation, I cannot do anything but nod. “I cannot stay long. Can we walk to the pond? I want to see it before we leave.”

  “Of course.” Rhen begins walking.

  “I’ll give you girls some time alone.” Dallas remains where he is standing. “So you can talk about me.”

  Rhen laughs and again her cheeks turn pink. Dallas winks at her and walks away—confident and slightly off balance.

  “You and Dallas. I saw a connection before I left but . . .”

  “I never could have imagined it.”

  “How did it start?”

  “It really started with John.”

  We reach the top of the hill, and I see the pond below. The sun is reflected off its surface, and the smell of soil and grass makes me ache to stay here. Life below, in the State, seems even more of a prison when I am here.

  “John?” My gaze goes automatically to the spot where he died, at the edge of the pond.

  “I thought he was crazy at first.” Rhen slows her pace. “All the talk of a Designer, of love. It went against all we have ever been taught.”

  “I know.” I had the same thoughts when John first started speaking to me.

  “But the more I listened, and I watched him, I began to see the logic in his beliefs.” Rhen stops at the edge of the pond and we sit. “And I began to see some of the holes in the Scientists’ logic.”

  Rhen picks at a blade of grass. She is thinking. I look at her, blond hair loose around her face, the wind blowing it in all directions. She is so relaxed. So different.

  “The love that John spoke of began to make sense.” Rhen looks at me and her blue eyes are bright. “And the Designer . . . he made sense too. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I saw that the Scientists were just mimicking who the Designer was—they were creating and ruling. They attempted to know everything, but they couldn’t. We saw that in the power outages and the oxygen depletion and the anomalies. Even the Scientists were imperfect.”

  I lie back in the grass, closing my eyes and feeling the sun warming my face. “Go on.”

  “So I began asking questions.” A smile manifests in Rhen’s voice. “I sounded like you. But you were in Athens at the time. I wanted to tell you when you returned. But . . .”

  “Dr. Loudin came.”

  “Yes.”

  “So tell me now.” I sit up. “But quickly. I have to return in a few minutes.”

  “No, Thalli.” Rhen’s eyes widen. “You just arrived.”

  “No arguing.” Never did I think I would say those words to Rhen. “I want to hear the rest of your story.”

  “John gave me the Designer’s book. He told me the answers to my questions were there.” Rhen pulled a worn book from a bag at her side. “I began reading it. I have not read it all, but I have read much. It is amazing, Thalli. This Designer—God—he is . . . real. He exists.”

  “I know.”

  “And knowing of his love has allowed me to love others.” Rhen smiles. “And to be loved.”

  “So Dallas . . .”

  “Rhen!” Nicole, Dallas’s sister—another relative—jumps into Rhen’s arms. Her dark hair is thick and curly and wild, her
olive skin smooth. Her brown eyes, so like Dallas’s, are bright. “Guess what?”

  “What?” Rhen smiles into Nicole’s face and lowers the young girl onto the ground.

  “I just—” Nicole notices me and her eyes get wider. “Thalli! You’re here.”

  “I am here.”

  “I’ll tell you too.” Nicole reaches into her pocket and speaks so quickly I have trouble understanding all her words. “I lost a molar. It’s so cool. And I didn’t even need any help. I pulled it out all by myself. Wanna see it?”

  I get down on my knees and look into the girl’s face. Her smile is wide, revealing white teeth with an adorable gap between two. What would it have been like to have grown up with Dallas and her here in New Hope? To have watched her as a baby, seen her take her first steps and say her first words. I want to make up for those lost moments. I want to enjoy every moment I have with her—with everyone. “I would love to see it, Nicole.”

  Nicole slowly opens her hand. The molar, still pink with blood, sits proudly in the center of her palm. Rhen and I clap and tell Nicole how brave she was to have pulled such a big tooth out all by herself.

  “We have to go.” Berk is behind me. I turn and see resignation in his eyes.

  “Not yet.” I look out over the pond, up into the sky. I want to spend more time with Nicole, with Dallas. I want to talk with Carey and learn more about Kristie.

  “I’m sorry.” Berk reaches for my hand and pulls me up. His hand stays in mine, warm and strong. I stand and Rhen follows. “Dr. Loudin has given me only five minutes to return with you.”

  I want to delay, but Loudin will use his weapon if I do. And I don’t want the people of New Hope seeing that or worrying for me. So I keep up with Berk’s long strides and too soon I am standing at the ramp leading up to the aircraft.

  “I have decided”—Loudin is standing at the entrance—“that I would very much like to study your friend Dallas. And you as well, Rhen. So much change in so little time. You should not have been able to develop feelings, and yet you have. Your logic should have overridden the primitive teachings you have been exposed to, but it did not. Why is that?”